Monday, July 29, 2013

Follow Up

I didn't really detail how the weekend went with my "friend" (emphasis on the quotes!).

I was nice and friendly and talkative and normal. She was her usual abrasive self. I realize more and more - she needs/wants a lot from me/us as her friends, but doesn't really give a whole lot in return. She's very demanding and concerned with her comfort and how she wants her day to go. Chris and I are very accommodating in general. We like our friends to be comfortable and have a nice time. But this is just another level and soon, we start to feel like doormats.

So we were in a car for a total of 8 hours together. Shared a room. Sat at the same table, etc, etc.

I pushed my anger and frustration out of my mind. I really, really, really dislike drama. I just wanted to have a nice time at the wedding - it was a gorgeous venue, had amazing food, and two dozen of our friends were there. No reason for me to worry about one slightly sour girl.

It wore on me, though. By the time we dropped them off when we got back, my patience was very thin. I had to go right home and take a nap.

It might not be the best course of action - but I am just not going to deal with it. No confrontations. No discussions. Nothing. This is because I know her and she has been confronted about her behavior before. She always turns it back on the other person and ignores the criticism. It's just.... not worth it anymore, to me.

I will get through this month and these social obligations with her. I will smile and genuinely have a nice time (she DOES have redeeming qualities - but I am just over her flaws, they are too hurtful). And then I will just stop making plans with her and limit contact.

So overall - the weekend was lovely and fine. But it drained me and my energy. So over it :D

BUT

I also wanted to assure you all that I am not going to go hog-wild every weekend (I definitely take Gwen's comment on my last post to heart!). I know I cannot continue to be up 2 pounds every weekend and spend the week chipping away at that. Definitely not my plan. These two weekends in a row have been outliers in my normal life.

I am STILL at a very low weight. I have maintained below 130 for well over a year. I have maintained at under 125 for several months. Definite downward trend which I am proud of. :)

My goal of 119 isn't exactly necessary. But I want it. And I want to have this goal to ensure I *don't* super overdo it in these busy, social weeks leading up to my wedding. If I have a very lofty goal, it means I am going to be stricter than if my mindset was JUST to maintain my weight. I don't want to slip up to 130 (my dress might not fit if I do!).

So no worries, my dears, I am well on track and focused here!

Love and light <3

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