Monday, June 17, 2013

Are You Happy?

Had a bit of insomnia last night and now I need to head off to babysit. The insomnia was a result of garage sale anxiety.... AFTER the garage sale. I kept thinking about getting rid of all the junk and stuff and realizing that was the last time I will see any of those stupid things again.

The lamp that was in my living room for 30 years. My dad's stupid cartoon ties. The nightstand my mom painted and I had as a child. The stupid ugly plastic horse statue me and my dad bought. UGHGUGHGUHGUHG.

I am definitely a hoarder at heart. I have that sickness that seems to pervade American society - the sickness of acquiring stuff, deeming it more important than it is, and never being able to let go. However, I want to FIX this problem... and I do it by admitting I have the problem and getting rid of stuff anyway. I've never gotten rid of stuff on such a HUGE scale, though. Apparently my little lizard brain was misfiring from the shock of it all and I had some severe anxiety issues last night.

I had to do it, though. I know the garage sale made me anxious. I know it kind of broke my heart. But this is for LONG-TERM happiness. Having a clean house. Having a clean mind. Being free. I needed to get rid of that stuff that was going to choke us.

Still. It's not easy.

The clutter problem is just like weight loss - so many of us know we have problem and we know what we need to do to fix it, but it is the DOING of those things where so many people just stall out.

I don't want to stall out, stay in place, be stagnant.

I want to be happy.

Bringing the child I watch to Five Rivers Environmental Education Center and Hiking Trails today. I'm excited to do something active with him! If I am going to be hanging out with a four year old for several hours almost every day this month - I want to instill in him some of MY values (the love of nature and the love of being active) and make a little difference in his life :) I don't want to just watch him and make sure he is alive when his parents come home, I want to brighten his day and expand his world and all that cool stuff!

My stomach is upset from the insomnia and anxiety all night, but I will bring a banana with sunflower butter with me to Five Rivers for when I eventually get hungry!

Peace and Light, friends. Be Happy.

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