Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Back to Veggies - kind of!

Feeling rested after my mini-vacation. That was so, so needed! Also had my interview for my promotion this morning, and it went well. There are five spots for promotion and I think they interviewed over 20 people. But I think I have a good shot. Send good vibes to those supervisors for me :)

I ate whatever sounded good on vacation - I had lots of different and indulgent foods. Ice cream, clam chowder, twice I ordered grilled chicken sandwiches out (I'm in love with chicken sandwiches right now), one morning I ordered an omelet with toast and fresh fruit and another morning I had scrambled eggs with oatmeal and toast, Chris' aunt made us lobster and quinoa salad that was AWESOME, as well as a ham and bean soup one night, and I bought a Portuguese fried dough in Provincetown :)

So lots of good and lots of not-the-best choices.

I definitely put on weight, but am not weighing myself. I am starting to feel better - more energy, less revulsion to "healthy" food. So I toned down the grains at home. I have a big batch of beef and turkey chili with veggies for lunches and I even packed and ate baby carrots for a snack. A couple weeks ago, raw vegetables not hidden in something were a huge no-go. But my stomach is much more settled.

So the focus is slowly going to shift towards more veggies and away from grain-foods (though I still am keeping oatmeal, pretzels and bread as options - sometimes they are still the only things that seem appetizing and settle my stomach). As soon as my body is on board with it, I want to get back to how I used to feel - energetic and healthy!

I'm a little bloated from the salt from eating several meals out over the little vacation - I've been desperately thirsty so at least I am getting my water down :)

That's all for me right now. Plugging along, figuring all this out as it comes, doing what I can and trying to be forgiving of what I can't!

It's not easy and I'm not always happy with how things are going... but one thing I've learned from the crappy things that have happened over my life is that, life isn't stagnant. Even if I don't like how things are going or am feeling down, if I keep moving forward, things will change in SOME way. And you got to always look forward to those changes and hope for the best :)

I hope I remember to get my whale pictures off of my computer and show them to you soon - we had such a blast.

Namaste, friends <3 I'm still catching up on blogs!

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

One more day :)

Just laying in bed this morning, enjoying my last day on mini vacation. This break came at just the right time, I was fraying at the edges! But I've had a really lovely few days, enjoying family and just having no worries :)

I've never been to Cape Cod before- been loving the beaches! Whale watching was tons of fun. I have to wait till I get home to show you pictures of that (I got at least one awesome shot).

Here's some random photos of things we've done/seen around the cape-

A fish hatchery:

An awesome boardwalk:


Eating out:

We're going to have breakfast soon with Chris' family and then head home to hug on our animals!

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Tonight's taste test - Curried carrot and red lentil soup

Tonight is cool and wet so it's time to start winter cooking. I decided to make an experiment tonight and it worked!! A delicious fragrant and spicy soup, this one is vegetarian and vegan friendly, cheap and easy to make and very filling with lots of fibre and low GI carbohydrates from the lentils (which are from the legume family). 

Legumes are foods like peas, beans and lentils and they are nutritional powerhouses with fantastic nutrient qualities, a great source of plant based protein, low GI carbohydrates and resistant starch. The coconut cream in my recipe does add more kilojoules and fat, but it is not too much across this big pot of soup. If you are closely watching your saturated fat intake you could consider using yoghurt or evaporated milk instead. 


  • 1 brown onion diced
  • 1 bunch coriander
  • 4 large carrots diced
  • 1.5 cups dried red lentils
  • 4 cups vegetable stock
  • 1/2  can reduced fat coconut cream
  • 2 TBSP Thai red curry paste
  • 2 TBSP olive oil
  • 1 TBSP minced garlic (or 2 cloves fresh garlic chopped)
  • 1 tsp minced ginger 
  • 1 TBSP dried ground cumin
  • 1 TBSP dried chilli flakes (omit if you don't like it spicy!)


  • Dice brown onion, chop stems of coriander just aboove the roots, set leaves aside for later. 
  • Toss onion and coriander steams in a heavy based pot with olive oil, garlic, ginger, cumin and chilli flakes and saute until onion is transparent
  • Add red curry paste and stir for 2-3 minutes until fragrant.
  • Add diced carrots and saute for 2-3 minutes until softened then add lentils and stock.
  • Simmer for 30 minutes on low heat until carrots and lentils are very soft.
  • If you like your soup lumpy, leave it as is. I whizzed mine with a stick blender until thick and no large pieces remain.
  • Add reduced fat coconut cream to taste (I used a bit less than 1/2 can) and stir through chopped coriander leaves in last 5 minutes to serve.
We each had a small bowl to taste test it and then I filled five containers for the freezer so this recipe could easily serve 6-8 people.

Bon appetit!

Thursday, April 23, 2015

No X-Ray! And A Break!

Well, one worry is off the table - the dental surgeon didn't feel it was necessary to take X-rays after an exam. I'm just relieved! Which means no dental work, whew. I have a routine cleaning in June, that's it.

One more day of work and then I have a 4 day weekend - I've saved up over a week of time off and I just needed a break. We're going to visit my sister-in-law and our niece in Providence and then Chris' grandmother and aunt in Cape Cod. We're going to take it as a cheap vacation, drive along the coast, eat some seafood, do some whale watching, etc.

I need to remember that it's possible to relax and enjoy my days (which seems impossible at work - it's a rough situation that really brings me down, though I am excelling there). But a break. Definitely needed. I'm wound super tight (if you hadn't noticed! :) ).

Been reading a lot on pregnancy. I feel more normal after that - hearing that lots of women struggle to find veggies appetizing in the first trimester, that their bodies are changing and they feel uncomfortable in their clothes, feel exhausted, etc.

This is the first time in many years that I'm increasing in size - my clothes are snug around my chest like whoa. I've always bought small tops with no consideration for breasts or support, because I've never needed it! I feel like a stranger in my body dealing with a fuller chest. I've always been a weirdo who didn't wish for a large chest, much preferring what I had.

So, I'm just uncomfortable! Especially because my clothes look weird. I didn't want to be needing new clothes at 11 weeks, hahaha.

But there's little to do but go along with it! I know I can't and won't try to stop these changes. Got to work on mentally feeling beautiful, though, because I'm not there yet.

A long weekend might just be the thing to help my mental state!

This life stuff is always a learning process, huh?


Wednesday, April 22, 2015

What is there to say?

I thought I would be blogging more during pregnancy - how I'm staying healthy, diet/exercise, how I'm dealing with the changes in my body, how I'm working on my self/body image, etc.

I thought I would revitalize my blog with a topic that is relevant to a whole new group of people that I never really could connect with before - moms-to-be/moms! But, I am a novice here and definitely know how much I don't know!

I eat, I sleep, I think about eating and sleeping. My body is changing rapidly, and I'm pretty uncomfortable about it (though I rarely have the energy to devote much time to that). Though I want a child so, so much and am really excited about being a parent - well, this whole pregnancy thing isn't really my forte. I'm not an expert and I'm not exactly doing all of this with grace!

So I've gone a little silent.

I'm hopeful that I'll start feeling a little more like myself in a few weeks - eager to get back into yoga, strength training, and getting some fitness back. Right now, though, I prioritize sleep above everything! I'm still walking about 9/10k a day, so I am being as active as I can (that's usually enough to put me down for the night). Food has evened out a little. I've reduced the sugar and the grains, which has helped even me out. Gotten back on a normal dinner routine - we had cod, sweet potatoes and Brussels sprouts on Monday. Chris' friend (who is a professional chef) made us dinner last night - a beautiful salad of watercress and carrots with an amazing herb yogurt dressing and sausage with homemade pasta.

I had my dental x-ray tomorrow. Hoping for the best there. Another medical thing I am waiting on - turns out that I am a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis, so Chris had to go in Monday to get his blood drawn and tested. Hopefully we hear sooner rather than later that he is NOT a carrier! His sister has been tested when she was pregnant, and she is not a carrier, so it's really unlikely he is. But it's a worried little thought in the back of my mind.

So that is where I am. I don't want to shut my blog down completely - I've really enjoyed it over the years, sharing my stories and hearing others. It's been really awesome. But I also know enough to tone down the posts a little when I get repetitive and boring :)

Will check in with any updates and if/when I ever have a coherent thought about this whole process that doesn't revolve around IAMSOHUNGRYOHGOD. Hahaha :)

Much love to you all, namaste <3

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Hike -> Nap

After a lovely WARM morning here, lazing around and making breakfast, we did some yard cleanup, got some grass seed and mulch down and finally went for a hike!

It was a short 3-mile local one but really lovely. We had never been there before, so was nice to see some new forest.

Chris took a picture of me and showed it to me later to prove I don't look AS different as I feel (I feel like I'm as big as I've ever been!). And I had to agree- I look pretty normal :) Only Chris can really tell I'm pregnant (um, my breasts are huge compared to what I used to have!).

But the little hike wiped me out - it had a few spots of significant climbing - and I went down for a nap at 3 PM :)

I ate two plates of dinner - Chris made a sweet potato hash with ground turkey and very little seasoning. I'm still pretty grossed out by most spices right now. Very much preferring simple, almost bland food. Very strange for me!

Tomorrow is final clean up at my Grandna's and a GoT BBQ party (i'm bringing coconut macaroons and some marinated shrimp!).


Friday, April 17, 2015

The Incredible Egg!

I've been having trouble with my other staple - meat! So I'm not eating much meat OR vegetables, haha. My solution? Eggs! I'm having them for dinner about 4-5 times a week, and really, really enjoying it. Breakfast is my favorite meal - I'd eat breakfast foods all day!

I actually had stopped eating eggs much at all in the past year as I switched to cottage cheese for breakfast. So just an occasional breakfast-for-dinner egg meal was had. I used to eat them all the time, though. And I never bought into that hype some years back that eggs were bad for us/our cholesterol :) Especially now that more recent studies show they help raise your good cholesterol, which is just as important as keeping the "bad"/LDL cholesterol down.

Their nutritional info (

  • Vitamin A: maintains the skin, immune system and normal vision.
  • Vitamin B2 (riboflavin): aids energy metabolism, red blood cells, vision and the nervous system.
  • Vitamin B12: aids energy metabolism, red blood cells, the immune system and the nervous system.
  • Vitamin B5 (pantothenic acid): aids energy metabolism and mental functioning.
  • Vitamin D: keeps bones and teeth healthy and aids absorption of calcium.
  • Vitamin E: keeps the reproductive system, nervous system and muscles healthy.
  • Biotin: aids energy metabolism, maintains skin, hair and the immune system.
  • Choline: aids fat metabolism and liver function.
  • Folic Acid: aids blood formation and tissue growth during pregnancy.
  • Iodine: aids thyroid gland function, maintains the skin and nervous system.
  • Iron: assists red blood production and the transportation of oxygen throughout the body.
  • Lutein and zeaxanthin: maintain normal vision and protect from age-related eye disease.
  • Phosphorus: maintains bones and teeth and aids energy metabolism.
  • Protein: needed for building and maintaining muscle, organs, skin and tissue, and producing antibodies, enzymes and hormones.
  • Selenium: protects cells from oxidative damage, maintains the immune system and aids thyroid gland function.

I've been really careful to thoroughly cook the eggs, though - which should always be done because of bacteria that can get in through the porous eggshell, but it's even more important when you are pregnant because the little fetus can't withstand that bacteria, like salmonella.

Things are going okay otherwise - I applied for that job, I got a tinnnnny raise in the meantime, and Chris is finally getting moved into a civil service position with the state (he was in a sort of limbo for a decade on "special payroll" but luckily always got to enjoy the benefits of being a state worker - like health insurance! But now he is going to get COL raises every year, plus be eligible for other raises).

I'm feeling more energetic as the days go on, but still spend more time than usual in bed :) Planning on being decently active this weekend and getting back into my yoga/strength workout routines. My body is going to soft quite quickly!

No weigh ins for me this week, I just simply didn't have the energy to CARE what my weight was, which is a strange notion for me. It's just not on my radar right now, especially because my focus is on accepting any normal, healthy weight gain and staying healthy in general.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend <3

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Focusing on maintaining stable blood sugars

Feeling better the last couple of days - but I am also eating a ton! However, I have been focusing more on foods that won't spike and crash my blood sugar, so I have been eating better as a result :) I've had a lot of protein - eggs, beef burgers, turkey meatloaf, yogurts and cottage cheese. And trying to reduce the amount of grains I am consuming (though I am craving them like whoa) to about a serving a day, pretzels or toast.

I've never really noticed blood sugar crashes before in my life - but as soon as I was about 7 weeks pregnant, it became a nearly impossible thing for me to control! Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that your blood volume increases when pregnant?

So even though I've been craving grains and candy (craving in a way I've also never experienced before... less of a "want" and more of a "OH I NEED IT!" feeling), I've had to get a little real with myself and not give in as much. Also, if I am going to eat something really sugary, like a chocolate, I eat it much earlier in the day than before so that any blood sugar spike/crash won't interfere with my sleep.

Adjusting this little bit has made me feel worlds better!

It's been really, really interesting for the science-nerd in me to examine the changes in my body and my body's needs the past couple of weeks. I've always just so easily maintained my blood sugars and kept my body in a stable state. All of a sudden, I had to relearn and retrain my instincts on what to eat to get back to stable :)

And it is not just important to find a stable place for ME to feel good, but there are some real health issues that can arise if I just ignored my body signs (of feeling dizzy, nauseous, and fatigued after crashing from sugar) and kept doing what I was doing:

"Does blood sugar really impact fetal development? Most definitely. Unbalanced and high sugar levels can increase the risk of:
  • Pre-eclampsia (high blood pressure)
  • Too much amniotic fluid
  • Premature labor and the complications that poses to infant development
  • Birth complications resulting in the need for cesarean delivery
  • Baby growing too large to safely pass through the birth canal
  • Hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) in the baby after birth
  • Jaundice
  • Obesity for yourself and child later on in life
  • Developing Type 2 Diabetes for yourself or child later on in life."
From: Managing Blood Sugar Levels During Pregnancy

I have known a pregnant woman, otherwise trim and healthy before pregnancy, who went kind of hog-wild with food during her pregnancy, eating tons of white-bread carbs (bagels and pasta) and sugar. She ended up having to leave work months early and put on bed rest because she developed a bad case of gestational diabetes and high blood pressure. Issues she never faces before.

A definite do-not-want for me!

So even though I am relaxing with my weight and not obsessed with staying strict Paleo in this time, I've noticed that with just a few better food choices over the past couple of days, I am feeling SO MUCH better.

My tooth pain is subsiding a little, which is good, because I didn't know that I could bear the pain until next Thursday!

Job-wise, I have an opportunity to apply for a promotion with much better pain and way worse hours. I am debating what to do. I think I might apply, just to see, because I can't make a decision if I don't get offered the job!

Looking forward to a weekend of nice temperatures - will probably finally go for a hike with Chris and Koda somewhere where there is NO SNOW (the tulips are popping up in my yard, and I refuse to travel to a mountaintop covered in snow when it is turning to spring elsewhere!).

Namaste <3

Monday, April 13, 2015

Tooth Pain Worries

I'm hesitating to blog too much until I start feeling like a normal human again :) I haven't got too much to say and am not thinking much beyond eating and sleeping, haha. I'm pretty inwardly/self-focused right now, which doesn't make for great blogging. Doubtful my experiences right now help anyone!

I had a really great weekend - the weather is getting nicer every day and I got to see my family on Saturday and friends on Sunday. I have been feeling a LITTLE more energetic, so I got more done this weekend than the last few. Overall really good stuff.

I'm worrying now because I had to make an appointment to get my recent root canal x-rayed. My OBGYN really doesn't want me to get x-rayed, but I have been having pain, so it was deemed necessary. What scares me more than the x-ray is what they are going to find on it. I know dental work and pregnancy doesn't really mesh. But the dentist said they will work with my OBGYN and come up with a recommendation, whatever they find. The appointment is late next week, so I get to stew about this for over a week, haha. And I am constantly reminded about it by the slight pain in my jaw.

So not much else to do right now other than practice calm and mindfulness. I just have to make it through this month with the dental issues, hear my baby's heartbeat in May, and maybe then I will stop feeling like such a freaking pessimist :)

Namaste, friends <3

Friday, April 10, 2015

The Dr. Said It's Normal :)

So I know everyone has been telling me to chill, basically, about the weight gain these past two months. But I guess I needed to hear it from my doctor!

They weighed me in at 131, so up 5 pounds from my last visit there in January. Not actually that crazy. I expressed my concern that I've put on 5 pounds (and eaten 17,500 calories more than I needed to get there, haha!) when I had heard that you weren't really supposed to be gaining weight at this point.

She just laughed at me, nicely, and said that it was fine. That they want me to eat AND to gain weight, especially since I started out a little smaller. I have monthly appointments with the OBGYN and she said SHE would let me know if I was gaining too much, and that I shouldn't worry about it.

I was also talking to a female relative of mine, who was quite small when she got pregnant, and she experienced the same thing I am - 5-10 pounds of weight gain in the first trimester. But then it evened out for her and slowed down in the second trimester (especially when she started feeling better/less fatigued).

So I am going to chill a little :)

I still have my self-image problems, but I just push the most important things to the front of my mind: the health of my body to protect the little life I'm making! That can get me over feeling down about a little extra weight any time.

I expressed to the doctor that I was having a hard time getting down vegetables, and really only grains and fruit were appealing to me. She told me to focus on protein right now, to even out my blood sugar highs and lows. I've been having a hard time with meat lately - she suggested eggs, cottage cheese, cheese, yogurts, and peanut butter. I eat everything except cheese and peanut butter on the regular - but will focus on eating those more when I feel a blood sugar crash coming on. Also just looking for bland, simple foods with at least SOME nutrition to tide me over. Spices and strong smells really turn me off!

This weekend is going to be fun: I have my brother's engagement party (it's at a nice pizzeria and I am going to eat pizza for sure!) and the Game of Thrones premiere which we always have a big party for at a friend's house. Looking forward to it all - if I can manage to stay awake, that is. I'm wanting to hit the hay right now and it is only lunch hour :)

So that's where I am. Can't stop thinking about the silly looking thing I saw on ultrasound yesterday, with it's little arm nubs and big head, and loving it like crazy!


Thursday, April 9, 2015

Ultrasound Update

It went well! We saw the little heart beating :)

I'm overjoyed! And letting myself fall in love and be happy. I'm only 8 weeks 3 days and it is still early, but I saw the little human we made and I can't stop the flood of emotions anymore!

I'm also very tired so this will be short and sweet - thanks for your good wishes, everyone!

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Quick Check In

Not wanting to bore you with the same old stuff, but wanting to check in and let you know things are going well.

Haven't been weighing myself, as I feel like utter crap, but will get weighed at the doctor tomorrow. My blood sugar is impossible to keep level - I'm having huge crashes throughout the day. I even woke up, bolt-awake, in the middle of the night due to a blood sugar crash (reminiscent of when I would drink too much sugary alcohol and try to sleep).

Still trying to make good choices. Meat is starting to gross me out. I ate some last night and felt ill for a half hour. I actually think it was the spices, so we are going to start making some plain meat for me. I am really looking for bland, bland, bland food right now. It feels like my stomach has an over-abundance of acid. Eating eggs every day and I just added in oatmeal (the oatmeal felt like HEAVEN when I ate it, and kept my blood sugars even for quite a while).

Definitely have to resist the sugar cravings, though. I ate a sugary chocolate treat last night (not my usual nice dark chocolate) and I think that is what caused me to have a severe blood sugar drop in the middle of the night.

Working on it :) Mostly just trying to distract myself from my appointment tomorrow - I am constantly cycling through all the good and bad outcomes and exhausting my mind. Distraction is all I have right now!

That's all for now... will update you tomorrow or the next day how things go <3

Monday, April 6, 2015

My Weekend - doing what I can and accepting it!

Hope everyone had a nice weekend, if you celebrate anything or not!, I enjoyed some time with my uncle and his family (he has three grown kids and they have their own kids, so it is a nice full house). They gave me and Chris an Easter basket, so I ate way more candy than I should have. The sugar rush felt amazing and made me feel like a normal person for little while. The crash was unpleasant, though!

Things are pretty much status-quo with me: low-level but constant nausea, fatigue, and a complete grain addiction. It's only when I am eating and for a short time afterwards that I feel alright!

Last night's dinner was a pork chop, half a roasted eggplant, and cantaloupe. Haha. No judgements, but it was what I was craving. And it wasn't bread, so that's a big plus. Working on getting my vegetables in (turns out I wasn't really feeling the asparagus and gave that a pass). Tonight we are going to do lettuce wrap tacos with avocado and tomatoes.

I have a lot more respect for pregnant women after only two months of being pregnant. I simply don't feel like myself at all. Eating and sleeping is pretty much all that is important to me the past few weeks. I, at times, feel like a complete loser as I see Chris doing things (he recently took a hunter's safety course so hopefully we will be eating venison this year!), going out to see friends, and stuff like that. I much prefer staying in bed with the cat!

But, I know logically and I know from all the advice you guys have given me, that this will pass! So I am working on just accepting what is happening right now. I am doing what I can, but I accept what I can't do.

My ultrasound is this week. I don't know that I will post much before it, because I already cannot stop thinking about it and all the possibilities!

I also have my brother's engagement party this weekend, so that is a happy celebration to look forward to :)

Peace, my friends, I wish you all a beautiful day <3

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Working on changing it up - Enjoying the weekend

Feeling a little better after a long night's sleep! 

On the food front, still struggling with disgust at most of the foods I've eaten for the past three years but trying to make good choices, regardless:

I made paleo pancakes for dinner last night - no veggies, but packed with nutrition (eggs, bananas and coconut flour). I made a flax milk smoothie with fruit and tons of spinach to get some greens in :)

I went grocery shopping and bought romaine and asparagus... Haven't tried them yet, but just thinking about then doesn't want to make me hurl so that's a plus :)

I weighed in - gonna aim for 2-3 times a week to try and keep an eye on what's going on with this new way of eating (adding back some grains). Excited to be right at 129! Hopefully can maintain around there for another month :)

Enjoy my lazy (or not- still had shopping, house cleaning, laundry and a dog walk on the agenda) Saturday! I wore myself out a little with a burst of activity in the morning, might be a good time to try a 30 minute nap.

Naps are hard for me. It takes me anywhere from half an hour to an hour and a half to fall asleep, so if I set my alarm for 30 minutes or an hour after I put my head down, there is a good chance that I never even got any sleep. But worth a try! I'd like to get another energy boost in the mid-afternoon :)

If you celebrate this weekend, enjoy your traditions and rituals and enjoy your family <3 I don't celebrate anything besides the beautiful renewal of Spring, but I'm going to have a ham dinner with my uncle and cousins tomorrow to enjoy family time :)

Namaste, friends.

Friday, April 3, 2015

Feeling Uncomfortable in My Body

I am fully sunk into a grain/carb coma right now. And yes, I feel much better, nausea-wise when I eat this way! Terrible. Chris made sausage and peppers last night, which smelled like death to me, and I ate coconut macaroons for dinner >.<

Like Karen said on my previous post, there will be a way to eat and listen to my body without making POOR choices (like cookies for dinner.. or binging on low-nutrition items, etc) and I need to put more effort into it.

I was 129 the last time I weighed, and I must be 130 or so by now. That would put me at about 5 pounds gain since I found out I was pregnant. And I definitely should not gain any more, since I am just shy of 2 months along! That's the max of what I expected to gain in the whole first trimester.

Ah well. I am just feeling doughy and bloaty and generally not comfortable in my clothes. Plus, my mood is SO up and down, and these feelings of unattractiveness get magnified. I'm just generally uncomfortable during the day. Definitely understand when people said, you're body is not your own anymore. I don't recognize this body and how it feels and what it needs!

I did a lot of mental "getting real" with myself the last half-year or so, knowing I would be trying to get pregnant. I had to get over whatever body-image issues I had because paramount above everything is creating a healthy body for myself so I can help my child grow well. That's the end of the story. No matter how I felt about gaining weight, I would never eat less than I/my child needed.

So while I am doing exactly that - I'm still struggling mentally a bit with the process. Especially when I feel so, so insanely crappy and tired and sick. I've never felt so out of control of my own body. So unable to have energy to do the things I love and have made me feel good and strong.

I think what will help me is if I can get back into a groove of healthy behaviors - doing my daily yoga, some light body-weight strength training, and eating WELL. I don't have to eat things that make me sick (sorry, majority of vegetables!), but I can make better decisions. Cookies for dinner isn't really conducive towards feeling like I'm doing good things for my body and my pregnancy >.<

(Side note: they were probably the most delicious macaroons I've ever eaten!)

It's been a strange time. Especially as I wait for my ultrasound next week to see if all is well and there really is a viable pregnancy going on. I feel in this sort of in-between stage of being pregnant but not REALLY knowing. I'm not as open in my real life as I am on my blog (almost no one I know in real life reads this, and those who might I already told anyway). So I am just going about, acting normal, except when I am home sick in bed, and not really letting myself fall in love with this potential life just yet (though, that's hard - yesterday I cried when I thought about holding my baby for the first time). Doing my best to distract myself from getting nervous, doing what I can to just not think about it.... looking forward to a time when I CAN think about it, talk about it with family/friends, plan for exciting times ahead.

I'm a bit of an emotional wreck.. in a way that I can completely handle, but still :)

I've been on a few pregnancy message boards, talking to women who've just found out they are pregnant but before their ultrasound/past the usual time for miscarriage, and I know I am not completely alone in these thoughts.

Sorry for the rant that doesn't have much to do with the purpose of this blog - but this is what is going on in my head constantly. And I am trying so hard to achieve the whole, well-rounded health that I value so much.... it's going to be a lot of work.

More than looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow :) I think it will do my brain a world of good!

Namaste <3

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

No April Fools - veggies make me sick!! (advice?)

Did a weigh in for the first time in several days - my weight is up to 129. I had hoped not to break 130 in the first three months, but....

Wow. I am struggling. The mere smell of vegetables cooking is enough to make me gag. I barely can choke down my previously beloved roasted beets for lunch every day. I even cannot stand the taste/smell/texture of sweet potatoes. SWEET POTATOES. I live on those. I was bringing snap peas as a snack, and those were one of the first things to disgust me. Raw or cooked, I am having a lot of trouble finding any vegetable appetizing. Chris made a lentil/carrot  soup several days ago and I got so revolted by it, even the thought of lentils make me queasy (even right now, ha).

I'm forcing myself to eat veggies, though - I have broccoli and beets for lunch today and I'm trying to eat salads at dinner. I know how important it is for me to get in several servings of veg every day for nutrition, especially during this time, but it is so, so hard. The other foods I am eating are high calorie/carb/sugar and I know that isn't ideal.

I am literally repelled by them, they can bring me to tears!

So, yeah. Proteins are fine - eating a lot of turkey, chicken, and eggs. Sticking with my lactose cottage cheese in the morning with blueberries. Fruit has been okay (though I nearly got sick eating a banana last night).

I really, REALLY, really wanted to stay on my 95% paleo diet during this time. It's done so much awesome stuff for my body - high energy, low inflammation, easy weight maintenance. But I've been struggling.

I bought some gluten-free bread that I've been using with either sunflower seed butter, butter or strawberry preserves. And yesterday, I broke down and bought some pretzels. I would almost have killed someone for a pretzel, I wanted them so bad.

Someone commented (Vickie?) that morning sickness was exacerbated by grains and sugars, like fruit juice, even though that is what most pregnant women seem to crave/rely on. The sugars in those foods spike the blood sugar, and the crash causes more severe nausea. I tried to keep that advice in mind, tried to stick it out with my normal food template, but I was weak and so tired of feeling nauseous and disgusted by my food. The pretzels and bread made me feel normal for a while and it was just plain old nice to eat something without gagging, haha.

So I am at a bit of a loss what to do. I want to give my body all the nutrition I WAS getting previously, but it's been harder than I thought (the nausea can land me in bed for hours at a time in a dark room).

But this won't last forever. If things go well, by month 4 I might be past this stage and can resume normal eating?

Any advice would be welcome - any suggestions how to maintain a more paleo and whole food template during this time? And no, I am not going to eat only proteins :) I want to try and get in a well-rounded nutritional profile and find some food that is edible to me and ditch the bread!

Thanks for any help. Have a great day <3